As I drove down the motorway looking into the distance I could see what used to be a forest now just a big black sploge surrounded by big tall buildings. I looked around only to see cars waiting to get into town. I can hear peoples horns, they are all in a rush to get there I don't know why there is nothing there anyway, the ticking from my watch is drive me insane it keeps on reminding me of how much time we have left, until the whole world is like this. I can smell oil everywhere it is actually very sickening. As I peer down to my left I look at the air freshener and holed it close to my face so that I can smell something fresh and not deadly. I can feel my hands starting to sweat as I grip onto the handle bars tightly, what has happened to this world. I can taste the oil fumes surrounding me as if I was the only thing that wanted.
Nicole,
ReplyDeleteYour writing was very good in description I can easily picture exactly what you wrote in my head but you need to start using similes as I noticed you didn't have any.Your spelling and grammer was good but I did notice a unnecessary comma that could of been a full stop. You wrote a descent amount but I think if you pushed your self more a lot more and got more done. All together I really enjoyed your story and it was really easy to picture in my head.